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Please suggest improvements for my GRE Argument essay

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Please suggest improvements for my GRE Argument essay [#permalink] New post 13 Sep 2017, 09:09
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, during the past year, fewer people attended Super Screen-produced movies than in any other year. And yet the percentage of positive reviews by movie reviewers about specific Super Screen movies actually increased during the past year. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers. Thus, the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Super Screen should therefore allocate a greater share of its budget next year to reaching the public through advertising.”

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.



Response:

The argument presented here for the lack of people attending Super-Screen produced movies fails to present a cogent view on the reason behind the same and does not appear to be convincing enough and contains of a number of loopholes.
The argument does not mention that if, just the number of people at Super-Screen produced movies has decreased, or it has also decreased for movies of other production companies. There is a possibility that most of the people prefer now watching movies at their respective houses rather than going to a theater. There is also a possibility of the movie reviewers being biased and the Super Screen movies aren't really good enough.
The increase in price of tickets can also be a reason for decrease in number of people attending Super-Screen produced movies. Piracy can also be another reason for why the number of people has dropped, as why someone would want to pay for something they can get for free at the comfort of their home and schedule. Availability of tickets can also be one of the other reasons. For example, most of the people might prefer booking tickets online rather than going their physically and Super Screen might not offer that yet.
One of the other reason might be the show timings and dates. It is possible that their movies are screened on a weekday or maybe at odd times which would make people unwilling to go.
Lack of advertisement might be one of the causes behind the dropping number of people visiting the movie screening, but certainly not the only one, since the arguments given by the author in favour of that appear to be in paucity of reasons to convince the reader of it being the only cause.
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Re: Please suggest improvements for my GRE Argument essay [#permalink] New post 14 Sep 2017, 06:34
Expert's post
Hi,

Your AWA is too short and it does not address fully the argument.
See here for reference

greprepclub-guide-to-awa-the-clear-cut-3426.html

regards
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Re: Please suggest improvements for my GRE Argument essay   [#permalink] 14 Sep 2017, 06:34
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Please suggest improvements for my GRE Argument essay

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