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Please help to evaluate my issue essay

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Please help to evaluate my issue essay [#permalink] New post 23 Jun 2017, 03:55
Issue topic:

All college and university students would benefit from spending at least one semester studying in a foreign country.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.




My response:

This topic raises the controversial issue of whether it would be beneficial for all college and university students to study abroad for at least one semester. Indisputably, spending at least one semester studying in a foreign country will allow students to explore the culture of a country, make new friends, learn new languages. Nevertheless, not all students have the luxury to study in a foreign country for at least one semester. Thus, I would disagree insofar with the prompt that not all undergraduates would be benefited from spending a minimum of one semester in an international university.

Generally, not all students had the luxury to study oversea for at least a semester. Some students are poverty-stricken, whereby they can barely to pay for their tuition fees. In fact, they have to borrow money from bank or the government to pay for their school fees. However, if they are required to study abroad for a minimal of one semester, this can put a great burden on their parents and to them too. This is because they must gather enough pecuniary to pay for all the expenses spent in the country. Consequently, it is obvious that not all students can afford to study in a foreign university for at least a semester unless they have sufficient money to pay for their expenditure in the foreign country.

Furthermore, if it is a requirement to spend some time studying in an international college, then they would have to delay their graduation. As we all acknowledged that, in this competitive world, it would be prudent to complete the degree as soon as possible so that we can secure a decent job immediately. For instance, healthcare jobs such as doctor, pharmacist and dentistry are highly competitive jobs. Often, we can read from newspapers that fresh graduates from these fields are jobless due to oversupply of fresh graduates from medicine, pharmacy and dentistry course. This would be a huge disadvantage to them as they have to wait for longer time to get a job upon their graduation. If they have to spend an additional time to study at least one semester in other country, then, it would be a problem for them who are trying to obtain a career as they have to wait even longer time compared to those completed the course earlier.

Admittedly, it is true that they would be benefited if they could spend some time learning in a foreign country as they can expose themselves in a different environment. This is because, they can learn new languages, make new friends and understand one’s culture. This could broaden their horizon in knowing other’s mores and decorum to avoid misunderstanding. For example, if a person had been to an Islamic country for studying or working, be it a fleeting period, will certainly construe that Muslims are practicing moderation behavior. This could create a general idea that not all Muslims are extremists and terrorists.

In conclusion, although it may be ideal for students to study in a broad for at least a short semester, however, it may not be a great idea for all undergraduates to study in a foreign university due to money and time constrains. The prompt still hold true if only those who are interested to spend their time and willing to this to experience different culture in other countries.
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Re: Please help to evaluate my issue essay [#permalink] New post 29 Jun 2017, 01:18
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Trying to be honest in evaluating your essay, I will stop in the introduction and first paragraph

Quote:
This topic raises the controversial issue of whether it would be beneficial for all college and university students to study abroad for at least one semester. Indisputably, spending at least one semester studying in a foreign country will allow students to explore the culture of a country, make new friends, learn new languages. Nevertheless, not all students have the luxury to study in a foreign country for at least one semester. Thus, I would disagree insofar with the prompt that not all undergraduates would be benefited from spending a minimum of one semester in an international university.

Generally, not all students had the luxury to study oversea for at least a semester. Some students are poverty-stricken, whereby they can barely to pay for their tuition fees. In fact, they have to borrow money from bank or the government to pay for their school fees. However, if they are required to study abroad for a minimal of one semester, this can put a great burden on their parents and to them too. This is because they must gather enough pecuniary to pay for all the expenses spent in the country. Consequently, it is obvious that not all students can afford to study in a foreign university for at least a semester unless they have sufficient money to pay for their expenditure in the foreign country.


Lack of paraphrasing and redundancy. Lack of a clear examples why you agree or disagree with the issue at stake.

Hope this helps
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Re: Please help to evaluate my issue essay [#permalink] New post 29 Jun 2017, 02:33
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Thank you for your sincere comments. Appreciate it a lot =)
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Re: Please help to evaluate my issue essay [#permalink] New post 29 Jun 2017, 02:34
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Re: Please help to evaluate my issue essay   [#permalink] 29 Jun 2017, 02:34
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