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Kindly review my Argument essay (My first one)

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Kindly review my Argument essay (My first one) [#permalink] New post 01 Nov 2018, 01:49

"The commercial airline industry in the country of Freedonia has experienced impressive growth in the past three years. This trend will surely continue in the years to come, since the airline industry will benefit from recent changes in Freedonian society: incomes are rising; most employees are now receiving more vacation time; and interest in travel is rising, as shown by an increase in media attention devoted to foreign cultures and tourist attractions."

Write a response that examines this argument's unstated assumptions. make sure you explain how this argument depends on those assumptions and what the implications are if the assumptions are wrong.

Answer:



The changes in the income, vacation time, and media attention surely change the patterns and general orientation of the society. The freedonian airline industry can also benefit from these changes, however, the author's argument for the significance and efficacy of these changes on the freedonian airline industry is rife with holes and assumptions that needed to be addressed.

The impressive growth that has been experienced over the past three years is expected to be continued due to the changes in the income, vacation time, and people's interest in travel. However, the reason for the growth in the past years and whether they are comparable to the changes mentioned above are not clear. For example, if the airline industry improved the quality of the flights and planes nearly three years ago and managed to attract some customers that used to choose other means of transportation, the relatively smaller change in the income and vacation time would not have the same impressive effect.

The author expects the increase in income to have significant effects on the traveling habits of the freedonian society, however, he fails to take into account all the other financial factors. First of all, the author assumes that the amount of the raises are comparable to traveling costs and that would change the traveling habits. Secondly, it is assumed that the airfares are going to remain the same for the years to come. For example, airfares can go under significant changes and the increase in income can be dwarfed compared to those changes. Additionally, the traveling costs are not limited to the airfares, and it should be analyzed whether the increase in income can compensate the traveling costs.

The argument would certainly benefit from being more specific about the media's attention toward the foreign culture and tourist attractions. This attention toward foreign culture can be positive or negative. The quality of the programs and their effectiveness and whether they can induce curiosity in society. Additionally being interested in the touristic attraction is not enough to convince people to travel to other countries. For example, countries in the middle east have lots of historical places, however, nowadays no matter how many documentaries people watch about the beauty of these tourist attractions, they are more concerned about their security during the travel.

In conclusion, it would be expected that an increase in income and vacation time, and being exposed to the advertisement would increase peoples interest in travel. However, the authors argument can be strengthened by further quantitative analysis of the income and comparing it to the traveling expenses. For a more sound comparison between the growth in the last three years and the years to come, further data is needed.
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Re: Kindly review my Argument essay (My first one) [#permalink] New post 16 Nov 2018, 13:45
i like it
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Re: Kindly review my Argument essay (My first one) [#permalink] New post 08 Jan 2019, 20:37
wow this is good,

well structured and extensive vocab
Re: Kindly review my Argument essay (My first one)   [#permalink] 08 Jan 2019, 20:37
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Kindly review my Argument essay (My first one)

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