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Kindly, please grade my essays

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Kindly, please grade my essays [#permalink] New post 06 Aug 2018, 06:02
Issue essay prompt: The best way to teach is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones

Response:

In the 20th century, didactic instruction involved punishment for any mistakes made and reinforcement of the consequences of improper conduct; however, in today’s age, a more sanguine attitude is taken by teachers, which results in bringing out the positive, rather than driving out the negative. This posture from modern teaching attempts has allowed students to be much more open minded about their choices in their futures and allow for society’s views upon the educational system to be one of cooperation, not only just competition. Yet if the negatives actions are ignored, then kids will continue to do those actions, even if their good ones are exemplified. Therefore, while the best way to teach is to praise positive actions, negative actions should also be taken into consideration, but not to the point where it is more insulting than constructive.

Firstly, not addressing negative issues in time could lead to further damage in the future. Teachers play a big role in educating the next generation, and as such, are greatly responsible for ensuring the seemly behavior of their students. If the teachers were to merely highlight the positive actions of their students and the negative ones go, it could cause imbalances in a student’s behavior. For example, a teacher may laud a student for having good grades in school, but if the student is callous and aloof with his classmates, he will merely alienate his peers without anyone informing him that what he is doing to his fellow students is wrong. If his indecorous behavior is never addressed and teachers continue to gloss over it, the student’s social and professional life will be impeded by his negative attitude as well, as he will not be able to get along with his coworkers and peers. Ergo, teachers must also prudently address the negative actions that a child makes to prevent further trouble from ensuing in the child’s future endeavors.

On top of this, ignoring negative actions could also result in the burden of others as well as the person carrying out the negative actions, especially in the industry. In today’s everchanging society, employees in the industry are required to continuously learn new technologies and tools as updates are constantly made to company workstreams and cycles. In this case, it is the employee’s boss’ or manager’s responsibility to instruct his or her colleague so that he or she can move in the right direction. However, if an employee is consistently doing something wrong that puts the whole team or division behind and the manager does not address it, it could cause insidious damage to the company and can have many negative affects on everyone the employee has interacted with, no matter how many other good actions the employee may do. Thus, the boss or manager should ensure that his or her employee is not only performing well in their strengths, but is also fixing their weakness so that he or she can continue to be a major support to the team.

However, in some cases there are times when ignoring negative situations could be necessary in the short term. But one must be wary of this, as not addressing it at one point could cause harm in the future. For example, in the professional classical piano industry, students must be precise and virtuous in their playing, and teachers must be there to enforce this principle. However, continuously pointing out flaws in a student’s playing may result in the student to start developing a diffidence for their skill out of fear of performing these same mistakes and being critiqued for it every time they play. In cases like this, the teacher should not directly address the negative issues, but at one point should make suggestions to the student on how to improve their playing, so that even when the faults in their playing are shown, it is done in a reassuring fashion so that the student looks at it as an opportunity to improve and thus maintains their passion and energy.

In conclusion, while it is good to address positive actions when teaching someone, it is also equally important to address the negative ones, as leaving them could cause an olio of long term damage. By addressing both positive and negative actions, the teacher will be certain that the student learns from his or her mistakes and continues to develop in a positive light.


Argument essay prompt: “Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia and concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. However, my recent interviews with children living in the group of islands that includes Tertia show that these children spend much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. This research of mine proves that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture is invalid and thus that the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is invalid as well. The interview-centered method that my team of graduate students is currently using in Tertia will establish a much more accurate understanding of child-rearing traditions there and in other island cultures.”

Response:

At first glance, the rebuttal made by Dr. Karp about Dr. Field’s previous conclusion that children in Tertia are reared by their village rather than their biological parents seems logical and pragmatic; however, upon further inspection, it is actually a specious account of Dr. Field with many illogical assumptions and conclusions.

Firstly, Dr. Karp says that because the children interviewed in Tertia talked about their biological parents more than the rest of the villagers, this automatically means that Dr. Field’s original conclusion about the children’s upbringing is wrong. However, Dr. Karp fails to consider the possibility that there are many reasons why the children could be talking about their biological parents, some of which are: they miss their parents, they live with their parents but interact more with other villagers, or Dr. Karp asked more about their biological parents than any other aspect of the children’s lives. Due to the incomplete context, Dr. Karp’s assumption is precariously supported by incomplete facts and requires further analysis to be considered a valid point.

On top of this, Dr. Karp also mentions that because of the conclusion he made about Dr. Field, the observation-centered approach to studying cultures is flawed. This statement is a very big generalization, as Dr. Karp is only taking one study and applying his conclusion of it to describe the entire process used by potentially many scientists. There are a number of factors that could have influenced Dr. Field’s form of study that Dr. Karp does not mention, including the layout of Tertia and a potential language barrier. On top of this, this one study by Dr. Field cannot be used to generalize the entirety of observation-centered study of culture, as other similar studies by other anthropologists were not included in the statistics as well. Ergo, Dr. Karp should conduct further analysis on anthropological studies that can be juxtaposed before making such a statement.

Finally, Dr. Karp maintains that, based on his very dubious conclusion thus far, his study will be applicable to other islands as well. On the contrary, there is no evidence or guarantee that this same strategy will work, as there hasn’t been any form of strong evidence showing that Dr. Field’s conclusion is wrong and that there hasn’t been any evidence that Dr. Karp’s new conclusion is correct. Additionally, there are many different parameters that affect the societies of different islands, and each one is unique in its own way, so it is highly unlikely that Dr. Karp’s strategy will work on such potentially disparate cultures.

In conclusion, Dr. Karp’s statement about his research and Dr. Field’s is heavily unsupported and filled with faulty assumptions. To further buttress his claims, Dr. Karp should include a more thorough analysis of each rebuttal he has made against Dr. Field and use statistics to explain why his research will potentially provide more benefits than that of the standard observation-centered approach.

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I gave myself a 4 on the first essay and 3 on the second essay, but please let me know what you may think and any suggestions you have for me. I know this is a lot to read, so thank you very much for taking the time to read this in advanced.
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Re: Kindly, please grade my essays [#permalink] New post 07 Aug 2018, 01:53
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They are good and well structured.

For a draft, they are concrete.

Regards
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Re: Kindly, please grade my essays   [#permalink] 07 Aug 2018, 01:53
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