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# Kindly grade my essay. It's my first Argument Essay :)

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Kindly grade my essay. It's my first Argument Essay :) [#permalink]  06 Aug 2017, 05:44
The question:
The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:

The world of business is massive and growing in scope and sophistication.
In his opening remarks, Henry Mintzberg argues that MBAs somehow block those who have \"earned their managerial stripes\"
from making it to the executive suite.

Discuss how well reasoned you find this argument. In your discussion be sure to analyze the line of
reasoning and the use of evidence in the argument.
For example, you may need to consider what questionable assumptions underlie the thinking and
what alternative explanations or counterexamples might weaken the conclusion.
You can also discuss what sort of evidence would strengthen or refute the argument, what changes in the argument
would make it more logically sound, and what, if anything, would help you better evaluate its conclusion.

My essay:
The argument presented by the author evaluates the world of business and questions the paradigm of preference for MBA degree holders
over those who "earned their managerial stripes from making it to the executive suite". The argument presented by the author is unclear and
hence gives way to several loopholes in his supporting statement.

Firstly, when the authors states that MBAs "somehow block" other aspirants of executive positions, how does he come to this conclusion?
What number/percentage of companies follow this trend? Or is it a regional practice? He does not mention any empirical data to substantiate his claims.
Every company in today's world values long term employees and provides preference to them despite the absence of managerial degrees.
Cognizant Technology Solutions, a majot IT firm for example, provides preference to internal employees for various executive positions over hiring new ones despite differences in degrees.

Further, the author seems skeptical about those who hold an MBA degree being preferred for managerial positions than employees who do not. He does not draw comparisons or explain how
the latter would make a better leader. CEOs appointed in past few years, Satya Nadella by Microsoft or Sundar Pichai by Google, for example are both
MBAs and have proven to be successful leaders so far. Also, as a result of globalization, a majority of major firms observe employees from all around the world.
Hence, an upgrade in leadership skills for such a scenario is required. Moreover, many companies such as United Spirits Ltd., often offer to finance their employees' MBA fee so that they can get the required skill or exposure.
The author does not seem to take this into account in any of his assumptions.

In conclusion, I would like it state that with the rapid growth of business in today's times, increase in competition and the inevitable mixed cultured work environment,
having a clear understanding of the market and learning to lead all kinds of employees are an important characteristics of the leaders of today.
Therefore, besides the important exposure and value that work experience brings and is thus upheld, having an MBA degree is a plus, and thus its importance should not be undermined.

Please provide feedback on areas which can be improvised.
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Re: Kindly grade my essay. It's my first Argument Essay :) [#permalink]  06 Aug 2017, 10:18
Expert's post
The AWA is fairly good. However, I would insert some strong examples to reinforce your reasoning, weakening the author's point of view.

Moreover, I would stretch it a little more.

Look here greprepclub-guide-to-awa-the-clear-cut-3426.html

Regards
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Re: Kindly grade my essay. It's my first Argument Essay :) [#permalink]  07 Aug 2017, 23:29
Thanks a lot for your feedback. Could you please provide a few examples as well? As in, I would like to know what examples would be considered strong.

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Re: Kindly grade my essay. It's my first Argument Essay :) [#permalink]  08 Aug 2017, 02:39
Expert's post
Hi,

At the bottom you do have the links you looking for

regards
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Re: Kindly grade my essay. It's my first Argument Essay :) [#permalink]  09 Aug 2017, 01:19
Oh yes. My bad. Thanks a lot!

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Re: Kindly grade my essay. It's my first Argument Essay :)   [#permalink] 09 Aug 2017, 01:19
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