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Issue essay review

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Intern
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Joined: 28 May 2017
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Issue essay review [#permalink] New post 05 Jul 2017, 07:10
Issue: In order to help small businesses thrive, govt. should play a minimal role in private business matters.

In order to help small businesses thrive, government should
proactively take care of all the requirements that they are
facing. Only then one can expect these small businesses to gain
momentum and contribute to country's economic growth in future. Small
businesses face a lot of competition from bigger players in the
market, who can with the help of the copious amounts of cash they have
can subsidize their products in order to make it more lucrative to the
customer. Small businesses, however, do not have such financial
support to make their product competititve in the market, hence making
it difficult for them to thrive.

Appropriate government policies can play a very important role for
these business fledglings to thrive. Government can help these small
fledglings by providing them with tax relief for initial few years of
existence. Tax relief would be immensely helpful in reducing the
financial burden from the businesses' shoulders. For example, in order
to promote the startup culture in the country, government of India has
exempted startups from tax for initial three years. The decision has
been embraced by the startup community. Not only it has resulted in
making these startups successful, but it has also encouraged young
minds to start something of their own. Today there are hundreds of
startups opened every year with highly innovating ideas backing them
up. They will surely help in creating jobs and improving the economy
of the country.

Different countries have different economic conditions. The cost of
labor, raw material and many other factors decide the final cost of
the product or service. It is possible that the product or service
that one country is producing is way cheaper than products beings
produced in other countries, giving a tough competition to
others. Other factors like availability of technology and innovation
also affects the final price of the product. It is impossible for
small businesses of other countries to compete with low-price products
from these countries. Government can help immensely in such situations
by creating policies conducive to small businesses. For example, it
can tax all the cheap imports appropriately so that the goods and
services being produced in the countries are able to fairly compete
with products from outside.

However, it can be argued that the businesses thriving on their own
without the help of any external entity will be more successfull
because it will force them to think of new ideas to make their
products better in terms of quality and final price paid by the
customer. While this is true, the probability of such a business
thriving is very low.

Hence, government should make reasonable effort in making the
environment conducive to these small businesses. Increase in the
number of small businesses will increase the probability of a these
businesses getting successfull in future helping the country overall.
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Re: Issue essay review [#permalink] New post 07 Jul 2017, 01:32
Expert's post
Quote:
In order to help small businesses thrive, government should
proactively take care of all the requirements that they are
facing.
Only then one can expect these small businesses to gain
momentum and contribute to country's economic growth in future. Small
businesses face a lot of competition from bigger players in the
market, who can with the help of the copious amounts of cash they have
can subsidize their products in order to make it more lucrative to the
customer.
Small businesses, however, do not have such financial
support to make their product competititve in the market, hence making
it difficult for them to thrive.


First red sentence highlighted: they WHO?? antecedents are the requirements itself ?? not possible.

Second red sentence: quite confused as sentence, we do not know which is which:who has the copious amounts of money ?? the SME or the big ones ??

Quote:
Appropriate government policies can play a very important role for
these business fledglings to thrive. Government can help these small
fledglings by providing them with tax relief for initial few years of
existence. Tax relief would be immensely helpful in reducing the
financial burden from the businesses' shoulders. For example, in order
to promote the startup culture in the country, government of India has
exempted startups from tax for initial three years. The decision has
been embraced by the startup community. Not only it has resulted in
making these startups successful, but it has also encouraged young
minds to start something of their own.
Today there are hundreds of
startups opened every year with highly innovating ideas backing them
up. They will surely help in creating jobs and improving the economy
of the country.


First red sentence: you should use not only, but ALSO............the idea is good inserting the example of India businesses.

Quote:
However, it can be argued that the businesses thriving on their own
without the help of any external entity will be more successful
because it will force them to think of new ideas to make their
products better in terms of quality and final price paid by the
customer. While this is true, the probability of such a business
thriving is very low.


Very confused statement, also very long sentence without punctuation.

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Re: Issue essay review   [#permalink] 07 Jul 2017, 01:32
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