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can anyone please review my essay this is my first essay

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can anyone please review my essay this is my first essay [#permalink] New post 04 May 2017, 01:28
Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.
Question(117084) :
Some people believe that society should try to save every plant and animal species, despite the expense to humans in effort, time, and financial well-being. Others believe that society need not make extraordinary efforts, especially at a great cost in money and jobs, to save endangered species.

Answer:

The above statement mentions that wheather, society should try to save plants and animals or putting extraodinary efforts to develop the well beings of humans. In my view protect plants and endangering species are more appropriate than developing ourselves. The reasons for my views are illustrated in the following paragraphs.

Plants and Animals are very essential to maintain the ecological balance. We have seen a lot of well reputed areas like Delhi, Mumbai etc. Where in the recent times Pollution has increased dramatically ,the main reason is due to deforestation, we humans are thinking for profitable purposes- cutting trees, Spoiling rivers etc. If these actions are increased even further then ecological balance is going to be spoiled because, of this reason natural calamities occurences are very high. For example if we have done lot of deforestation in a particular area then, we can observe drastical reduce in the rainfall which eventually leads to droughts. Let's take one more example suppose if we have done lot of digging of sand which eventually leads to soil erosion then, that place will not be suitable for growing plants. So by protecting the trees we can live peacefully without any natural imbalances.

The above paragraph is totally about the importance of plants and now, by coming to protection of endangered species. Protecting animals or other living being is a duty of every human being who are living the planet because, earth is a not anyone's property So, we should show any superiority towards other species. As a human being we need to protect every living being. If many species extinct then it ultimately leads to ecological imbalance. Animals and plants are beauty of the nature.

Now coming to the human development, of course it has to be done but, not at the cost of endangering plants and animals. The reason why I'm saying is even if we developed a lot of building and lot of cities by deforestation, killing animals and every single plant that is obstructing your path just cyclone is enough to blow away all we have built so, in order to avoid such things first priority should be given to nature development.

So, finally I conclude that rather than spending all the money for the development purposes, we need that money to be spent to develop the nature and well beings of animal.
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Re: can anyone please review my essay this is my first essay [#permalink] New post 04 May 2017, 01:43
Expert's post
Honestly, It is a bit weak as construction and craftsmanship.

See here as a reference for a good AWA

qq-how-to-post-a-gre-question-the-easy-way-2357.html#p4332

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Re: can anyone please review my essay this is my first essay   [#permalink] 04 May 2017, 01:43
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