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Can anyone Grade my argument i have my exam on 17 th of AUG

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Can anyone Grade my argument i have my exam on 17 th of AUG [#permalink] New post 03 Aug 2018, 04:18
Topic- An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.



The speaker unreasonably concludes that government should promote the new type of millet in the Tagus in order to decrease the deficiency. Among the several untenable assumptions, the most glaring one pertains to be the cost of new seeds as the nation is impoverished, how can the farmers get the subsidies from the government and is entirely unsubstantiated.

The evidence proffered by the speaker is about, an international organization has developed a new breed for the deficiency of vitamin A to the Tagus, Cost of the new millet seeds are more, farmers are paid subsidies, etc. The evidence is insubstantial, unrepresentative and mostly extraneous to the issues involved. Therefore, unless a number of questions are answered satisfactorily, this cannot be considered a cogent argument.

Firstly, the speaker states about the vitamin A deficiency in the impoverished nation of Tagus but there is not enough information stating the condition of the old type of millet which they earlier produced and the main reason why the deficiency has arrived. Is it because of adequate rainfall or the soil fertility or may be any other reasons.

Secondly, the argument unfairly assumes that the implementation of the new type of millet would rectify vitamin deficiency in the nation. There should be a proper evidence that by the implementation of this new type would eradicate the problem.


However, the author fails to consider other possible explanations regarding the financial feasibility. The Unreasonably implies that by implementing farmer subsidies they will be ready to buy the seeds but Tagus government is being a declined nation in terms of financial stability. I would also need a detailed analysis of the financial status of Tagus in order to check the compatibility issues regarding the subsidies.

The speaker also needs to check for various alternatives in order to reduce the vitamin deficiency. There can be any other alternate supplement through which the deficiency can be reduced.

Ultimately, this argument would have been more eloquent if the speaker had given more information regarding the issue causing the deficiency, financial stability, any natural resources paucity(rain, water, soil, etc). Without ruling out the alternative Explanations and in the absence of requisite informative this argument can't be deemed to be persuasive.
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Re: Can anyone Grade my argument i have my exam on 17 th of AUG [#permalink] New post 06 Aug 2018, 08:59
Expert's post
See my guide for improvements.

This is not a good essay: too short, it does not nail the main point. The example to show your reasoning are poor. or missing if any.

https://greprepclub.com/forum/greprepcl ... -3426.html

Hope this helps

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Re: Can anyone Grade my argument i have my exam on 17 th of AUG   [#permalink] 06 Aug 2018, 08:59
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