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Request for reviewing and grading my essay

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Intern
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Joined: 12 Jun 2017
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Request for reviewing and grading my essay [#permalink] New post 18 Jun 2017, 09:46
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Please review the essays attached.
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Moderator
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Re: Request for reviewing and grading my essay [#permalink] New post 18 Jun 2017, 12:15
Expert's post
Please, next time you do not attach your essays as a word, though it can be downloaded would be much better to show them here as an integral post.

Give me a couple of days to review your work. Your writing is promising, but errors and redundancy are there.

Be patience.

Meanwhile, read this greprepclub-guide-to-awa-the-clear-cut-3426.html

Thank you
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Intern
Intern
Joined: 12 Jun 2017
Posts: 15
Followers: 0

Kudos [?]: 5 [0], given: 0

Re: Request for reviewing and grading my essay [#permalink] New post 18 Jun 2017, 19:58
Thanks Carcass. I will wait for your reply. I attached the essays because they are screenshots from one of the tests I took and hence could not be copied here. Next time I will try if they can copied.
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Re: Request for reviewing and grading my essay [#permalink] New post 03 Jul 2017, 00:56
Expert's post
Image

Sorry for my late responce: on one hand because the schedule is tight, on the other hand because evaluate an essay is always time consuming.

I took an excerpt of you essay.

In a more general way your base is good in writing. However, you show not a proper mastering of the concepts you talk.

You address vertical integration but you do not show what it is: vertical integration is a strategy and as a consequence a concept complex but you do not provide an example of what it is. Moreover, consultants not necessarily are there to improve this strategy or implement this.
The stimulus says you that consultant might be hired to improve the company, in a more efficient way.

This could be for instance: how we can be better to produce our cars cutting the cost in the production line ?? not necessarily we must improve our profit. They are the result in millions of way.

Yet, you talk before to hiring consultant to improve profits then you talk how to penetrate a new market or whare the company stands in comparison to its competitors. You say: the consultant might be this or that for the company but HOW, in which way, when, where ??

You essay should be more focus centered.

Look at here for a more in depth analysis greprepclub-guide-to-awa-the-clear-cut-3426.html

Hope this helps
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Re: Request for reviewing and grading my essay   [#permalink] 03 Jul 2017, 00:56
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