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Dear Altruists, please review my essay (Issue task)

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Dear Altruists, please review my essay (Issue task) [#permalink] New post 28 Jul 2017, 11:37
Issue task: Some people believe that in order to be effective, political leaders must yield to public opinion and abandon principle for the sake of compromise. Others believe that the most essential quality of an effective leader is the ability to remain consistently committed to particular principles and objectives.

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with your own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

My Essay:

Political leaders, people who are chosen by the general public, have a very important role to play in society. To be effective in their duties, the leaders should listen to the voice of the public.

While politicians should maintain discipline and moral principles, their day to day work may involve with many situations where the public opinion should be the topmost priority. It is the public who favored the politicians, made them who they are, placed them where they are, so in order to satisfy the public demand, sometimes political leaders may need to bend certain rules.

The question of morality arises when the bending of rules comes. An effective political leader cannot be a demoralized person. For example, taking bribes should be prohibited. A political leader should not break this principle. However, there are certain situations, when the objectives of a political leader may change with the demand of the public. For example, a leader promised to build new roads in a town. Now, after being elected as the town mayor, the public has demanded educational institutions to be of paramount importance. So, the leader should delay his road construction plan and start investing in educational sectors as the public demands. If the leader can keep the public satisfied, they will cooperate with him and in the future fulfilling his objectives will be much easier.

Being consistently committed to one's own goals and objectives might represent one as arrogant. The necessity to fulfill objectives is as important as to introduce new elements to the set of goals in order to provide the best service to the people. One cannot stick to his plans forever. By listening to the public, the effectiveness of a plan can be increased. The political leaders need the public support, more often than they think, on every step of their political career.

There are certain issues, often stand in the way of leader's principles, that need to be taken care of. Even if the public demands don't match with his strict regulations, he cannot ignore them forever.
For the sake of the greater good, both the political leader and the public need to come in good terms. However, most of the times, the leader may need to sacrifice a lot than the public. At the end of the day, the public love an affable leader, a leader who works for them, not the leader who is too busy with his self-commitment.
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Re: Dear Altruists, please review my essay (Issue task) [#permalink] New post 02 Aug 2017, 01:56
Expert's post
Hi,

your english is quite good in its unfolding and writing. However, you do not clearly address the argument. You have chosen to stand on the side: politicians must take in account the public opinion.

But your essay does not center properly the target you stand for.

First paragraph

Quote:
The question of morality arises when the bending of rules comes. An effective political leader cannot be a demoralized person. For example, taking bribes should be prohibited. A political leader should not break this principle. However, there are certain situations, when the objectives of a political leader may change with the demand of the public. For example, a leader promised to build new roads in a town. Now, after being elected as the town mayor, the public has demanded educational institutions to be of paramount importance. So, the leader should delay his road construction plan and start investing in educational sectors as the public demands. If the leader can keep the public satisfied, they will cooperate with him and in the future fulfilling his objectives will be much easier.


The prompt says: they must hear the public opinion. Ok. However, in your writing where is a clear example. They must hear and abandon their principles; here you talk to cooperate. Quite different.

Hope this helps

Follow this for reference greprepclub-guide-to-awa-the-clear-cut-3426.html
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Re: Dear Altruists, please review my essay (Issue task)   [#permalink] 02 Aug 2017, 01:56
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